Self-esteem isn't real... is what I remind myself when I get into these lows. The more I use my logic to realize that I rely on OTHER people's opinions about me to decide how I feel about myself, the more I see it. If I'm not hearing verbal encouragement, I feel unmotivated and useless. If I'm hearing verbal criticism, I think the worst of myself. My insecurities are so deep rooted, I can hardly identify them anymore. I just realize that I take up space and that I'm not proud to do so. I see confident, assertive people around me and envy the ability and strength... Then I remember something else... EVERYONE has their shit!
Homie reading this, if there's one thing I can assure you, it is that you are NOT special in the BEST ways! Your struggles, negative thoughts, sense of lacking; it's all normal in the most 'been there, done that', type fashion. My anxiety isn't special. My insecurities are not special. But they are my responsibility. Cheers to learning how to love yourself and be self-sufficient. I am my own hero.
-KR
